CollabCon

Would you break bread with someone you don't agree with?

I tend to think about nicotine 24/7.

Even in my dreams! I’ve dreamed about CollabCon several times.

Since 2014, I have identified as a Tobacco Harm Reduction (THR) Advocate. That identity primarily represents consumers and sometimes small businesses in the nicotine space. I’ve taken great pride in that identity. It feels right. It feels like I’m doing something useful, helping people, and making a difference.

I’ll get back to talking about this identity in a bit. Your hint about my THR Advocate identity can be found in this quote by Jonathan Haidt.

“Being wrong feels exactly like being right.”

Jonathan Haidt (Please take a minute to watch this video.)

Imagine going to a nicotine conference that is set up like a retreat—a type of summer camp for grownups. Instead of a fancy hotel, the event is in a scenic rural setting dotted with large cabins, walking trails, fire pits, and benches in cozy locations to sit and chat with others.

That is where CollabCon is held in my dream. CollabCon is short for Collaboration Conference. (I have no control over my dreaming brain coming up with a name that has nothing to do with nicotine!)

I’ve dreamed of different parts of this conference ever since the SRNT 15 encouraged us to seek balance, and Cliff Douglas encouraged us to find common ground.

Those attending the conference would come from many walks of life. All of them will have some tie to the contentious debate about nicotine. The list of attendees might include (but not be limited to) researchers, educators, healthcare practitioners, writers, lawmakers, regulators, trade groups, consultants, health organizations, advocacy groups, tobacco control, public health, growers, manufacturers, wholesalers, retailers, and end users of nicotine products.

Some will support the use of reduced-risk products, and some won’t. Some are focused on helping people who smoke (cessation), while others are focused on youth use (prevention). Some will have a mission in life to squash the tobacco industry. A few believe firmly in the right for adults to make their own choices.

There will be people who have used nicotine at some point in their lives and some who have never used nicotine (outside the minuscule amount in the food they eat). Some will personally know the heartache of watching a loved one die from smoking, while others won’t know anyone who smokes.

Each attendee will complete a survey before arriving. The survey will be analyzed before the event and will help to place each attendee in their primary tribe—those who have a common goal and a common strategy to achieve that goal. A secondary tribe for each person will also be identified.

The night before CollabCon attendees stay at an accommodation of their choosing. They are asked to bring their luggage with them the first day of CollabCon as accommodations for the duration of the event will be provided by the organizers.

Upon arrival at CollabCon, each attendee will receive their name and tribe badge they must wear to participate in the event.

On that first day, each tribe will have an area to sit together as they listen to the day’s sessions. They will stay together as a tribe for the day, including during refreshment breaks and lunch. Attendees are asked not to socialize with members of other tribes the entire day.

Much to the participants' surprise, none of the presenters the first day mentioned nicotine or tobacco. Instead, all the speakers talked about collaboration, communication (including listening), how to have a conversation with people they disagree with, and building bridges.

Different versions of this dream have featured speakers who I admire and respect. The list includes: Mónica Guzmán, Angela Buchdahl, Jonathan Haidt, Adam Grant, Melanie Trecek-King, Valarie Kaur and others. She hasn’t been in my dream as I just recently learned of her, but I would add Deb Mashek to my list.

“If we don't learn to break bread with each other, there'll come a day when none of us will have any bread to break.”

Abhijit Naskar

At the end of the first day, attendees are told the number to the cabin they will be staying in is on the back of their badge. They could now grab their luggage and bring it to their cabins. The evening meal and social event would be at their cabins.

As attendees arrive at their cabins, the first thing they notice is no one from their tribe is a cabinmate. On the table if each cabin is a welcome message. It informs people the kitchen and pantry are well stocked with food and refreshments.

The note goes on to explain that their first activity of the night is to agree on a meal and prepare it together. When they’ve cleaned up after the meal, their next activity is to go sit around the bonfire outside their cabin and each person should tell their story about how they ended up involved in the nicotine space and why they do what they do as far as nicotine is concerned.

Then, each cabinmate should tell the others what they envision the future of the nicotine space should look like. For some its called the “end game.” They should describe what strategies they feel are needed to achieve that goal.

The rest of the evening can be spent however each attendee chooses, as long as they stay at their cabin with their “new tribe.”

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."

Socrates

On the second day attendees are to prepare breakfast as a group at their cabin, tidy up their space, and arrive at CollabCon at 10 am sharp. At the CollabCon facility, they discover the seating areas have been rearranged to have each cabin (new tribe) sit together. Attendees will spend the day listening, speaking, eating, etc. with their new tribe.

One member from each new tribe is randomly selected to come up on stage and tell a little bit about each member of their tribe.

Next, each new tribe selects the 2 people who were farthest apart in “end game” goals and the strategy to get there for a debate. The selectees will be divided into two teams. One group sits at the “for” table while the other sits at the “against.”

My dream isn’t specific as to what “for” and “against” means, but I guess it’s because my brain already defines that as the ones closet to supporting THR and the ones furthest from supporting THR (that might include some folks who visualize a nicotine free society.)

As the moderators explains the rules, there is an audible gasp when they mention that each team will debate in favor of the opposite sides perspective. (“For” debates in favor of “against” while “against” debates in favor of “for”.) Everyone enjoys a friendly and spirited debate that is sprinkled with moments of laughter.

After lunch the guest speakers from day one return to the stage and discuss topics like the third opinion, biases, fallacies, finding common ground, and goals & trade-offs.

The attendees return to their cabins and once again prepare the evening meal, “break bread” together, and clean up the kitchen. Then, they head outside for their 2nd fire-side chat. Each will share what they thought of the day. Was there any “I never thought of it that way” moments? Each member will share any trade-offs they’d consider to help achieve their goal (“end game”). The rest of the evening, the attendees may do as they please, as long as their interactions with other attendees are only with their cabinmates.

“We can learn to see each other and see ourselves in each other and recognize that human beings are more alike than we are unalike.”

Maya Angelou

The third day starts as the second did, with each cabin preparing its own breakfast and tidying up the kitchen. Attendees are asked to bring their luggage with them to the CollabCon grand hall. As the attendees leave their luggage in the lobby and enter the hall, they see that the seating has once again been rearranged, and now everyone sits together.

The screen on the stage’s backdrop says “One Tribe.”

The guest speakers from the first two days help facilitate the conversation as the “one tribe” gathers to see how close they get to reaching a consensus. Each attendee stands and states their original goal, which is then added to the list on the screen.

There were many goals! The day was spent discussing the goals and the tradeoffs involved in reaching them. While many reached a consensus, not everyone agreed with the list at the end of the day, which arranged the goals from those that should be achieved first to those that need to be considered down the road.

At the end of the day, dinner and entertainment were provided for the one tribe. Each guest picked a room in the grand hall's building to spend the night at. Many people hung out together late into the night.

Everyone gathers for breakfast and goodbyes in the morning and then heads home. New friendships were made during the event, and most went home with a better understanding of others' perspectives.

“No us can see a them clearly. And the more we vilify them, the more distorted the world between us becomes.”
Monica Guzmán

I thought I was open-minded, beating the “anti-tribe” drum by encouraging everyone to shift the conversation away from us vs. them and to seek common ground. Still, I didn’t realize that my identity as a THR advocate meant I was keeping myself in a tribe and sending tribal messaging to others.

My “ah-ha” moment came while trying to register to attend FDLI’s events in October. Since there isn’t a consumer category, I turned to Steve Leslie for assistance. He had me register as a “Public Health Advocate.”

“Public Health Advocate?” Isn’t that the people who work in public health or one of the health-related NGOs?

It was an “I never thought of it that way” moment! Why do I advocate for THR? To help people who smoke. But that is a limiting view. By helping people who smoke, I am helping to improve public health.

“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.”

Helen Keller

We may not agree on a strategy, but we can agree that the lives of people who smoke matter, and the futures of our youth are important. We can do our best to advocate for them. That starts by putting our heads together and listening to each other.

It doesn’t matter if your income is connected to nicotine or not. It doesn’t matter if you never used nicotine or use it every day. If you care about the death and disease caused by smoking and are trying to help people who smoke while caring about youth, the title that belongs on your identity badge is the same one that belongs on mine. We are all Public Health Advocates!!!

If I ever have the CollabCon dream again, I hope on day three (one tribe day), everyone gets a new badge, and we stop focusing on the original tribes, which brings attention to our differences and start focusing on the fact that we are all, indeed, members of one tribe.

Until next time…

Skip “BeKind” Murray